Sorry to be so quiet this last week and a half. I'm going through a phase of sleeping a lot. It's a recuperative-sort of sleeping rather than a depressive-sort of sleeping, and frankly I find myself impatient with the whole thing. But at the end of this sleeping phase I know I'll feel better, so I've learned to just go with it. Unfortunately yesterday I had to make a trip to Walmart after massage therapy/acupuncture, and that's knocked me back for what will probably be a few days. I'm working on a post that requires my brain to be a little less foggy than it has been lately, and hopefully I'll get that posted in a few days.
In the meantime, as I wrote on my non-kink blog, I've been trying to practice being in the present more and finding it difficult when stuck in bed a lot of the time. Not only that, but I end up having to deal with my current feelings about past events (see this post or this one). After wrestling with the demons of unanswerable whys the other night, I've found myself in a very little girl sort of mood.
I keep imagining A. taking me over his lap and scrunching my cotton panties down to my knees. As he begins to spank my fat, creamy white cheeks with his large, hard hands, he will tell me that this spanking is to remind me that I'm a little girl. His little girl. No amount of pouting and whimpering will keep him from spanking me until my cheeks are scarlet and I'm kicking and crying like a small child. And I'll feel particularly small when he stands me up and orders me to the corner, where I'll waddle to with my panties down around my ankles. After a few minutes of feeling very small indeed, he'll bring me to himself and cuddle his special girl. He'll stroke my hair and tell me what a good girl I am. A little girl who is wanted. Always wanted. And those horrible demon whys will go away.
As you can see, my imagination has a penchant for intruding on my being present.
Right. Back to bed. Hopefully I'll have dreams about the paragraph above instead of the emotionally draining sort I had earlier this week...
Saturday, March 15, 2008
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3 comments:
Sleep well, Natty, and may you have only deliciously kinky dreams, even if you are too tired to tell us all the details! I hope you're feeling better soon.
Hugs,
Indiana
Thanks so much! I'm sleeping a little bit less each day (a little bit) but still tire quickly.
Can't say that my dreams have been as delightful as my day dreams. But hopefully my day dream was as fun for you as it was for me. :-)
I know what you mean, Natty. Sometimes being a little girl is the best, and safest, kind of catharsis. It's the ultimate holiday from responsibility. I like getting a break from having to be a hardworking, brave submissive - if I'm a little girl I can kick and complain and struggle, not lose face and still get hugs afterwards. Priceless. I hope you get the play you're craving soon!
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