Lately my fantasies have centered around being given a long, sound spanking with a hairbrush. Hard and rapid fire. And way, way past my breaking point so that I lose my ability to bear the pain and the spanking keeps going. And going. And going some more until I'm well and truly blubbering.
Generally when anybody spanks me, they stop too soon. I'm always what seems like a few more minutes away from the spanking being well beyond what I can endure when it suddenly stops -- well within my ability to process the pain, despite how much it truly does hurt. Once a spanko friend said he could have me crying and begging for the spanking to stop, and I replied honestly and matter-of-factly: your arm will get tired first. He thought I was being cheeky and spanked me some more. But still not any where near enough to make me cry.
Of course, there are some logistical reasons why my fantasy won't work at the moment. My beloved is 5000 miles away. I'm on anti-coagulants and should avoid excessive bruising.
There are also more ambivalent issues, like, I live with a chronic pain condition (Fibromyalgia) in which my brain is not processing pain properly in the first place, and I'm not sure that turning up the amplifier even more is a great idea. I mean, each day I take two separate narcotics, along with a muscle relaxant and an anti seizure medicine just to make life tolerable. The primary muscular-skeletal area (as in, one of several types of pain I live with) in which I'm in pain is my sacro-iliac region - i.e. the middle of my right buttock. Surely spanking can't possibly be a good thing for that -- especially one as awful as what I'm fantasizing about.
Are there just some fantasies that, while having great aesthetic appeal, should just stay fantasy?
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Bloody Blogger
Those of you who read this blog via Internet Explorer (personally, I'm partial to Firefox) have not been able to much lately because of some unknown glitch that apparently has involved the post with the story "A Sub Strikes Back." I've deleted that post, as well as the graphics for the "Keep torture for consenting perverts only" post and the post about the movie Another Country. I'll repost the story another day.
Blogger is in the process of upgrading its software, and I have been reticent to switch to the new beta version -- mostly because beta versions are notorious for being buggy and I didn't want the stress. Apparently they've decided that those who fail to "upgrade" are the ones who will suffer the bugs.
Bastards. Never trust a company with the motto, "Don't be evil."
At any rate, a big, big, big thank you to sparkle for taking a look at the source code and finding the offensive post. Also thanks to poiesia who gave me a heads up that something was wrong (the blog always shows up fine in Firefox). I've decided I should probably check on how the blog looks once a week in IE. However, if you all ever notice an abrupt change in appearance and have a moment, feel free to email me heads-up!
Blogger is in the process of upgrading its software, and I have been reticent to switch to the new beta version -- mostly because beta versions are notorious for being buggy and I didn't want the stress. Apparently they've decided that those who fail to "upgrade" are the ones who will suffer the bugs.
Bastards. Never trust a company with the motto, "Don't be evil."
At any rate, a big, big, big thank you to sparkle for taking a look at the source code and finding the offensive post. Also thanks to poiesia who gave me a heads up that something was wrong (the blog always shows up fine in Firefox). I've decided I should probably check on how the blog looks once a week in IE. However, if you all ever notice an abrupt change in appearance and have a moment, feel free to email me heads-up!
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Internet luvin
O.
M.
G.
It's internet enabled?
A. and I sooo have to get this. I mean, not that phone D/s isn't fun and all. And there's been an internet element to it as he either sends me emails with instructions for his call, or tells me what to do on the phone and then has me email him with the results.
But the thought of a Rabbit Vibrator that he can control? Oh WOW!
(Hat tip to Pink Bottomed Girls)
M.
G.
It's internet enabled?
A. and I sooo have to get this. I mean, not that phone D/s isn't fun and all. And there's been an internet element to it as he either sends me emails with instructions for his call, or tells me what to do on the phone and then has me email him with the results.
But the thought of a Rabbit Vibrator that he can control? Oh WOW!
(Hat tip to Pink Bottomed Girls)
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
One of those sorts of mornings
Some mornings you just wake up and think, "damn I need to be spanked!"
Today is one of those mornings (okay, it's actually afternoon, but morning to me). I'm sitting here at my laptop trying to wake up by reading my emails and eating the chicken tetrazzini Meals on Wheels just delivered, and all I can think about is how nice it would be to get a jolly good thrashing. With a hairbrush preferably.
Sigh.
A. and I did some spanking over the phone the other day, but it's awkward not only for the obvious reasons of angle and difficulty really hitting myself hard enough but also because neither of us can see if and how much I'm bruising. Gawd I really hate Coumadin.
He was successful, however, in causing some delicious discomfort to my, um -- lol I can't hardly say it out loud much less type it! -- well, you know, between the cheeks. First I had to put a little bit of toothpaste there, then insert peeled ginger root. O. M. G! After five or so minutes, I could barely follow any of his other instructions as the sting had become impossible to ignore.
It was absolutely yummy.
What wasn't yummy, though, was that my failure to follow commands meant I ended up with a bar of soap in my mouth. But -- ::evil chuckle:: -- between the soap being right out of the package and my mouth being parched, I really didn't get much soapy taste. He he he...
Right. I need to stop having so many damn doctor's appointments and other medical shit to deal with so I can blog more about spanking.
Yup. Definitely.
Today is one of those mornings (okay, it's actually afternoon, but morning to me). I'm sitting here at my laptop trying to wake up by reading my emails and eating the chicken tetrazzini Meals on Wheels just delivered, and all I can think about is how nice it would be to get a jolly good thrashing. With a hairbrush preferably.
Sigh.
A. and I did some spanking over the phone the other day, but it's awkward not only for the obvious reasons of angle and difficulty really hitting myself hard enough but also because neither of us can see if and how much I'm bruising. Gawd I really hate Coumadin.
He was successful, however, in causing some delicious discomfort to my, um -- lol I can't hardly say it out loud much less type it! -- well, you know, between the cheeks. First I had to put a little bit of toothpaste there, then insert peeled ginger root. O. M. G! After five or so minutes, I could barely follow any of his other instructions as the sting had become impossible to ignore.
It was absolutely yummy.
What wasn't yummy, though, was that my failure to follow commands meant I ended up with a bar of soap in my mouth. But -- ::evil chuckle:: -- between the soap being right out of the package and my mouth being parched, I really didn't get much soapy taste. He he he...
Right. I need to stop having so many damn doctor's appointments and other medical shit to deal with so I can blog more about spanking.
Yup. Definitely.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Keep torture for consenting perverts only!
I really want to encourage all of you fellow perverts out there to participate in Amnesty International's "The America I Believe In" campaign. While I'll admit to being skeptical about just how much real political effect signing a pledge on a website has, I figure it can't hurt. And the recent Military Commissions Act of 2006 goes against every ideal America is supposed to stand for, as well as a whole host of basic, internationally-agreed upon human rights. It deserves as much condemnation as we can give it.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
School canings and a Communist Colin Firth
Just finished watching a brilliant movie, Another Country, set in a British public school during the 1930s. I figured with that sort of setting, there's got to be at least one good caning in it, ya know? And there is, though the way in which it was done - a sort of peer imposed discipline - didn't quite work for me (though I had that most bizarre of spankee thoughts -- hmm...I wonder what it would be like to get caned that hard...wait, no, don't think that and for gawd's sake don't say that to A.!).
What did work for me was Colin Firth as a moralistic, self-righteous Communist spouting off about the bourgeoisie and the proletariat throughout the movie. OMG! Can there be a more dreamy toppish character? ::swoon:: I keep trying to put my finger on just what makes Colin Firth so hot. I mean, he's fairly plain when you compare him to other hot guys. I dunno. I really think it's that he emits some sort of spanko vibe that even non-spanko women find unwittingly appealing and makes those of us who are spankos simply drool.
Spanking and a Communist Colin Firth aside, Another Country really is a great movie in exploring class (again, set in a British public school so class is going to be a central issue) and sexuality (you know, boys having sex with boys but for heaven's sake don't ever get caught). Rupert Everett plays Guy Bennett, a gay schoolboy who later goes on to betray his country as a spy for the Russians (don't worry, I haven't spoiled the plot, you learn that in the first five minutes or so). The film, as the stage play before it, explores the psychology behind how Bennett, based on the real-life Guy Burgess, could come to a point where he would chose to be a traitor.
Interestingly enough, his affair is with a character played by Carey Elewes -- you know, Westley from The Princess Bride. Actually, Another Country is about four years before his "as you wish" days so he's just this cute, freckled-face lad. And being the bad Catholic that I am, I thought it quite apt that he's played both a gay schoolboy and the future Pope John Paul II.
It's funny because movies or books set in lavish school settings always bring out the Lisa Simpson in me. There's more than one scene of Everett and Firth reading or talking in a wood-paneled room with a bay window -- my idea of academic nirvana. Indeed, I remember when I read Catcher in the Rye, I had a hard time finding Holden Caulfield at all sympathetic because all I could think was, "oh boo hoo, you only have access to the best education money can buy and a family home next to Central Park! Gawd it must suck to be you!" (I think you can see where a Communist Colin Firth would be so appealing to me...)
Which reminds me of my last post. I think the reason my spanking life is so unlike spanking fiction is that I'm both "Natty" and Lisa Simpson stuck in the same body. LOL -- hell, that's probably why I'm so sick...
What did work for me was Colin Firth as a moralistic, self-righteous Communist spouting off about the bourgeoisie and the proletariat throughout the movie. OMG! Can there be a more dreamy toppish character? ::swoon:: I keep trying to put my finger on just what makes Colin Firth so hot. I mean, he's fairly plain when you compare him to other hot guys. I dunno. I really think it's that he emits some sort of spanko vibe that even non-spanko women find unwittingly appealing and makes those of us who are spankos simply drool.
Spanking and a Communist Colin Firth aside, Another Country really is a great movie in exploring class (again, set in a British public school so class is going to be a central issue) and sexuality (you know, boys having sex with boys but for heaven's sake don't ever get caught). Rupert Everett plays Guy Bennett, a gay schoolboy who later goes on to betray his country as a spy for the Russians (don't worry, I haven't spoiled the plot, you learn that in the first five minutes or so). The film, as the stage play before it, explores the psychology behind how Bennett, based on the real-life Guy Burgess, could come to a point where he would chose to be a traitor.
Interestingly enough, his affair is with a character played by Carey Elewes -- you know, Westley from The Princess Bride. Actually, Another Country is about four years before his "as you wish" days so he's just this cute, freckled-face lad. And being the bad Catholic that I am, I thought it quite apt that he's played both a gay schoolboy and the future Pope John Paul II.
It's funny because movies or books set in lavish school settings always bring out the Lisa Simpson in me. There's more than one scene of Everett and Firth reading or talking in a wood-paneled room with a bay window -- my idea of academic nirvana. Indeed, I remember when I read Catcher in the Rye, I had a hard time finding Holden Caulfield at all sympathetic because all I could think was, "oh boo hoo, you only have access to the best education money can buy and a family home next to Central Park! Gawd it must suck to be you!" (I think you can see where a Communist Colin Firth would be so appealing to me...)
Which reminds me of my last post. I think the reason my spanking life is so unlike spanking fiction is that I'm both "Natty" and Lisa Simpson stuck in the same body. LOL -- hell, that's probably why I'm so sick...
Monday, October 02, 2006
Anti-spanking fiction
Earlier today I was taking the Five Factor Personality quiz that Mija had posted on her blog from awhile back (I'm sooo behind on my blog-reading) and had to kind of laugh at my results on the second factor: conscientiousness.
It's especially funny as just last night I was thinking about how A.'s and my spanking life is sorta anti-spanking fiction. He's the more disorganized, unstructured, "bend the rules" sort, while I'm generally the neat, obedient, anal retentive control freak. I mean, sometimes I'm late for appointments. I can procrastinate at times, which probably contributes to my being late. Well, that and trying to cram way too much into too little time. Every now and then I still get willful when it comes to respecting my physical limitations. But when it comes right down to it, I'm just not really that naughty. Granted, I'm bedridden most of the time so it's not like I really have the opportunity to do much that's naughty. But even when I'm healthy, I'm generally a very good girl.
It's hard to be a good spanko when you're just not really very naughty, ya know?
I dunno. Would I be more naughty if I wasn't sick? Would I have been more like my Allie/Natty alter-ego if my health and childhood environment had been different? There is something in me that innately longs for discipline and yet, in most respects, I am fairly self-disciplined. A part of me that longs to be rambunctious and willful and naughty, that wants candy and ice cream, but another part of me that likes watching PBS and making nice Chinese herbal soups and resting. Was I just my own parent for so long that both the child and the parent are now innate parts of me?
I do know there are naughty aspects of me that I suppress. My inner smart-ass, for instance. Or normal self-indulgence. I'm tactful and empathetic because those were vital survival skills growing up. Yet I do think that I suppress them far too much. Being a bit of an ego-centric bitch would probably be handy at the doctor's office on occasion. However, if I need to stop suppressing them, getting punished for expressing them probably wouldn't be the best course of action. Hmm...maybe I should get punished if don't express them. Maybe knowing that I'm going to be spanked if, say, I'm not assertive with my doctor would be a good thing.
Might have helped me last week when I should have insisted that Dr. H check me for a type of bacterial infection I strongly suspect I might have but instead remained silent because when I mentioned it before he looked at me like I was completely crazy. I was really annoyed with myself later. Even more annoyed with myself a few days after that when the acupuncturist asked why I just didn't insist that he do the blood test. I mumbled something about the test requiring a lot of precautions and stuff, to which she simply shrugged and said it's not that big of a deal for him to manage, which I knew was true.
Believe it or not, I'm actually a lot more assertive than I used to be and that's in large part because of all the health problems since my ill-fated surgery seven years ago. I mean, I actually ask questions now.
But, well, being spanked for not being enough of a smart ass would still make for odd spanking stories.
You have high conscientiousness.
Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life.
Most things in your life are organized and planned well.
But you borderline on being a total perfectionist.
It's especially funny as just last night I was thinking about how A.'s and my spanking life is sorta anti-spanking fiction. He's the more disorganized, unstructured, "bend the rules" sort, while I'm generally the neat, obedient, anal retentive control freak. I mean, sometimes I'm late for appointments. I can procrastinate at times, which probably contributes to my being late. Well, that and trying to cram way too much into too little time. Every now and then I still get willful when it comes to respecting my physical limitations. But when it comes right down to it, I'm just not really that naughty. Granted, I'm bedridden most of the time so it's not like I really have the opportunity to do much that's naughty. But even when I'm healthy, I'm generally a very good girl.
It's hard to be a good spanko when you're just not really very naughty, ya know?
I dunno. Would I be more naughty if I wasn't sick? Would I have been more like my Allie/Natty alter-ego if my health and childhood environment had been different? There is something in me that innately longs for discipline and yet, in most respects, I am fairly self-disciplined. A part of me that longs to be rambunctious and willful and naughty, that wants candy and ice cream, but another part of me that likes watching PBS and making nice Chinese herbal soups and resting. Was I just my own parent for so long that both the child and the parent are now innate parts of me?
I do know there are naughty aspects of me that I suppress. My inner smart-ass, for instance. Or normal self-indulgence. I'm tactful and empathetic because those were vital survival skills growing up. Yet I do think that I suppress them far too much. Being a bit of an ego-centric bitch would probably be handy at the doctor's office on occasion. However, if I need to stop suppressing them, getting punished for expressing them probably wouldn't be the best course of action. Hmm...maybe I should get punished if don't express them. Maybe knowing that I'm going to be spanked if, say, I'm not assertive with my doctor would be a good thing.
Might have helped me last week when I should have insisted that Dr. H check me for a type of bacterial infection I strongly suspect I might have but instead remained silent because when I mentioned it before he looked at me like I was completely crazy. I was really annoyed with myself later. Even more annoyed with myself a few days after that when the acupuncturist asked why I just didn't insist that he do the blood test. I mumbled something about the test requiring a lot of precautions and stuff, to which she simply shrugged and said it's not that big of a deal for him to manage, which I knew was true.
Believe it or not, I'm actually a lot more assertive than I used to be and that's in large part because of all the health problems since my ill-fated surgery seven years ago. I mean, I actually ask questions now.
But, well, being spanked for not being enough of a smart ass would still make for odd spanking stories.
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