"People we've always wanted to be": The Spanked virtual book tour continues

The Spanked virtual book tour has been winding its way through the sex blogosphere during August and now I get the pleasure of beginning the Bonus days of September (i.e. I didn't get my sick, lazy ass in gear to answer Ms. Bussel's email in a timely manner -- something experienced by many of you who have emailed me -- and all the proper days were taken by the time I did).

For those of you who haven't come across the book in question through a book review or interview on any of the thirty-one blogs before me, the tour has been promoting the recently published anthology Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica by Rachel Kramer Bussel, a long-time erotica writer, cupcake-lover extraordinaire, host of In the Flesh erotic reading series, former columnist for Village Voice, and occasional writer for publications such as Alternet and the Huffington Post ('cause sex is political whether you think it is or not). You can purchase the book at fine online bookstores like Amazon, or my local bookstore, Powells.


Yes, it's Labor Day. And many of you are at the Shadowlane Party (:::sigh::: someday...). But for those of you who are actually reading today, lemme tell ya a shocking little secret.

I've never bought any erotica before.

In fact, I haven't even really read all that much, at least not the sort that involves sex and not just spanking.

When Spanked arrived, I suddenly started thinking about practical things like, where do I put it on my book shelves? Most books I like to display with pride throughout my studio apartment, but this one, well, what if my nieces and nephew see it? Or my priest when he comes to visit and give me communion? However, eventually I put those questions on hold and actually started reading it.

What I've come to realize is that the reason I've never bought any erotica before is that I don't really like reading about other people having sex. In the words of the narrator of the first story in Spanked, "the curious paradox about spanking sex [is] that the vagina is almost an afterthought." Spanking is all about the ass for me. All about the pain. The submission. The endorphines. The negotiated infantilization. I do like sex. Its intimacy. The achy fullness and the electrical satisfaction of the orgasm. But it's just physical. It never has the power to touch so much of me like spanking does.

So the ubiquity of hard cocks and wet cunts left me rather bored at times. And as someone who lives considerably below the poverty level, I couldn't help but be conscious of class. That the characters in these stories were white, urban and mostly financially comfortable.

Yet there was a remarkable diversity among those for whom such a straightforward act -- spanking -- plays a prominent role in the expression of their sexuality. Submissive males hungry to please a mistress or just to get a spanking from a stranger -- especially if she happens to be a sexy bookstore owner. Bratty males who then turn the tables and take the formally self-righteous female over his knee. Lesbian women using a spanking to even the score or eat that forbidden fruit of hot but straight female roommate. Gay men watching a straight woman spanking a straight male. And, of course, stern boyfriends and co-workers giving spankings to naughty girls in the bedroom, or office, or kitchen.

And while I may not have connected with the explicit sexuality or socio-economic status of the characters, there was plenty I did connect with. Like body image issues, such as experienced by the spankee in Rick Roberts's story, which "just added to [her] vulnerable beauty." The sheer play of spanking in Allison Tyler's story in which a Betty Crocker-wannabe is tied up in plastic wrap and spanked with several kitchen implements (I can hardly cook or bake without A. getting handsy). What it's like to be a strong woman who is worth "waxing and washing for" such as those in Sage Vivant's story. The confusion of where the sex ends and real life begins and how dangerous that line can feel such as Andy Ohio's protagonist finds. The thrill of kink and vanilla life intersecting like we see in Elizabeth Coldwell's story. The fun of participating in Usenet spanking newsgroups, as "Pink Cheeks" knows in Fiona Locke's story and how that increases exponentially when we meet our virtual friends in the flesh. The naughtiness of sneaking a quick spank and fuck in Thomas S. Roche's story while guests wait downstairs. How disturbing our fantasies can be when they bleed into taboos like incest, as Kaitlyn realizes in Teresa Noelle Roberts's story, and the compartmentalization we engage in to cope with our discomfort. Desperately wanting to cry from a spanking, as Dee desires in Rachel Kramer Bussel's story, only to discover that you should be very careful indeed what you wish for.

"...I know what my body can do, but I want to see what we can do together, if we can take spanking somewhere it's never gone before, if we can make it propel us into a new place where we lose ourselves only to find people we've always wanted to be."

Bussel's heroine whispers this to her partner when she asks him to make her cry, but it's really what every couple who engages in spanking seeks. We spank and get spanked to go somewhere we've never gone before and find the people we've always wanted to be -- naughty school girls and cunt whores, or just raw, sex-hungry beings looking to spice things up during a hearty fuck. In Spanked we get a glimpse of those various people and places we can be and go. It may take us to places that are profoundly uncomfortable or make us people we don't even recognize. But in the end we just may arrive at a place more pleasurable than we ever imagined.

Follow the Virtual Tour tomorrow as it heads over to Kristina Wright for another Bonus day.