Wednesday, July 30, 2008

A top ten most unconventional spanking implements list

Watching Rachel Kramer Bussel's video trailer for her new anthology, Spanked, inspired me to make a list of the top ten most unusual implements with which I've been spanked. For the comprehensive list of what I've been spanked with, see this post.
  1. Leek. This one definitely gets the first prize. I mean, how many spanking stories have you read with a bratty girl or boy on the business end of a leek? It was so unusual it even inspired poetry.
  2. The Complete Works of William Shakespeare Vol. 2: Histories. The power of words took on a whole new meaning when a spanko friend years back looked up to my book shelf, saw this and decided to use it on my backside. Very thuddy, as you might imagine.
  3. Frying pan. For awhile there, my post about A. spanking me with a frying pan was routinely ranked among the top ten sites on Google about Domestic Discipline. Go figure.
  4. Dog lead/leash. Ah, when young (or not so young) spanko lovers first meet, they have a tendency to start viewing just about anything as a possible implement. Like A. and I during our very first time together in England. While walking his brother's dogs one day at the park, A. got bored with throwing the ball to the dogs and decided to see what their rope leashes would be like on my bottom. You know, out in public. Shameless, I tell ya.
  5. Sjambok. You can buy them at Adam and Gillian's so they are actual bona fide spanking implements. But even they list them under "unusual."
  6. Fly swatter. The business end of a fly swatter makes some spanking sense, but many years ago a friend also decided to try the wire handle. Ouch! It left me with some nice black and blue welts. More recently, A. also tried out a completely plastic one I bought at the grocery store on my ass. Pieces broke off the top of it with the very first swat.
  7. Wire hanger. Joan Crawford made them a famous, albeit unorthodox spanking implement and my bottom has not been spared their use. The first spanko guy I dated gave me a dose of wire when I started laughing after he fell out of his chair. Alas, it didn't stop the giggles in me.
  8. Remote Control. I've heard of other spankos experimenting with remote controls also. I mean, you're on the couch with your naughty boy or girl. The remote is on the table in front of you. It's sorta flat... Though having been spanked with one, I can't say they're all that impressive as implements go.
  9. Sandal. The British have a long tradition of hitting kids with slippers or gym shoes (A. would know). So why not a sandal? They're flat and whippy...
  10. Cutting board. What can I say? It was paddle-shaped. A. had to spank me with it. Unfortunately it wasn't exactly made to strike nice big bottoms and broke after a swat or two. It comes in at number ten because it's probably been the first spanking implement bought at Wal-Mart by many a spanko, just behind electrical cords -- which I've also been spanked with.
I imagine you, dear reader, might have a few unconventional spanking implements to add to the list. And you know how much I love comments...


Indiana said...

OK, I haven't been at this very long, but I'd have to say the strangest two things are (1) a wooden horse sweat scraper, which I recommend, and (2) the horizontal piece at the bottom of a hockey stick, which I didn't like as much. Too rough. I suppose the 1 inch diameter PVC pipe covered all around with about 1/2 inch of silver foam rubber wasn't exactly a standard toy, either.

Paul said...

Natty, I once spanked Mel with the rubber drainpipe from the washing machine, she was bratting while I was unblocking it, it left some interesting marks, she wasn't impressed very ouchie.
I imagine a good sized leek would be quite thudy.
Warm hugs,

Natty said...

Indiana -- Well, I'd say those are pretty damn unconventional alright. I'm not even sure what a wooden horse sweat scraper is.

Paul -- You know, I have always wondered about those rubber hoses and what not in machines. Though it sounds like maybe they don't have quite the "umph" that I thought they might.

And yes, that leek was rather thuddy. ;-)

Rose said...


I've been spanked with our remote control and was left with a painful bruise for more than a week!

On the other hand, I've also been spanked with a paint stick, which I've heard so many other spankos say is so painful. I barely felt it.


Natty said...

You know? A. didn't really use it very hard on me. And remotes differ from television to television so yours might be better suited to spanking than ours is.

But it is funny how individual our reactions to implements can be, no?

marianne said...

My first spanking was with a fly swatter. It was a bit of a disappointment, actually. I was also spanked with the long narrow plastic part of a child's toy... cane shaped, really. That was ouchy. I'm afraid I still prefer the hand to any implement.

Natty said...

Oh yes. The hand always has the intimacy that trumps implements.

Marie said...

Here: ping-pong paddle, cutting board, occasionally hairbrush, and martinet.

I'd like to get one of these American novelty paddles people talk about... but I never saw any on sale!

Anonymous said...

I was in a hotel room once and my miss used the cord from the phone for lack of a better insturment.