Saturday, August 01, 2009

VibeReview Fantasy: Anal Douche

"I know a little girl who's about to have her bottom washed out and spanked."

This was Nanny Bea's traditional remedy for crankiness. Though its initial effect was to further deepen the scowl clouding Natty's face.


"Then I suggest you eat your dinner, young lady."

"But...I had chicken soup last night. And we never have pizza."

"You're still getting over a cold and soup is better for you."

Natty glared at her soup. Folded her arms. Kicked her feet, one after the other, against the legs of the chair.

"That's it," snapped Nanny Bea. "Off to the corner, please."

"Okay, okay. I'll eat my soup!"

"Indeed you will after you've had some time in the corner and over my knee."

Natty gulped. Pursed her lips. Contorted her face into the most pathetic of pleas.

"I'm not going to ask you again, young lady," stated Nanny Bea, who was already halfway to the bathroom.

With a sigh and a whimper, a truly melancholy Natty stood slowly from her chair and shuffled over to the familiar meeting place of the north and west walls. Hearing the water running in the nearby bathroom sink made her tummy twitter and tighten, not to mention gave her bottom a rather foreboding tingle.

"Natalie Samantha, come here please." Nanny Bea was always polite, even when she was very stern.

Natty straggled over to the sofa where Nanny was sitting with a towel draped over her lap. Next to her on the end table was a hairbrush, an anal bulb syringe, two latex gloves, a slender red butt plug, and a tube of lubricant. At least it wasn't a full bag. – the bulb and its contents – were still going inside her and it gave Natty a shiver.

"Take off your pajama bottoms and panties and lay over my lap, please."

Natty pouted as she slid down her red flannel bottoms and pink knickers. Even though Nanny had seen her naked many, many times, Natty always felt self-conscious when her nakedness was combined with...The Thing.

"Please don't spank me know...I promise I'll eat my soup." It was a quiet plea accompanied by sad, imploring eyes and tight, drawn together lips.

"Over my lap, please."

With a huff and a snivel, Natty climbed onto the sofa, sat on her legs, and then lowered herself over Nanny's lap. Nanny Bea picked up the hairbrush. Smoothed and patted Natty's bottom. Delivered twenty sharp smacks to her white, fleshy cheeks leaving Natty kicking and squirming and crying.

Once Natty's crying had petered to a whimper, Nanny Bea grabbed the latex gloves next to her and put them on. Flipped open the top of the lube and squeezed a small dab onto her index finger. Spread Natty's cheeks and smeared the lubricant on and in her hole. Picked up the bulb and slid the nozzle tip inside Natty's hole.

"It's so poky," Natty whined.

"You'll survive."

It took a moment before Natty felt the water flowing inside her. And it just felt...wrong. On so many levels. It left her feeling vulnerable, helpless and little, especially being over Nanny's lap. But she did like it when Nanny stroked her hair and patted her bottom once all the water was inside and her bottom was plugged. Natty knew that the cleaning out was meant for her own good. Meant to make her feel better and cleaner and cared-for. And Nanny Bea did care for Natty a great deal.

Yet why did something that was supposed to be so good for a person feel so dreadful?


While all the other bloggers are reviewing the sexiest -- and priciest -- new vibrators out there, I have taken it upon myself to appraise the lowly but ever so utilitarian anal douche. Though I can't claim to be all that altruistic as I (and many others) find that the humble anal douche can be a lot more erotic than a fancy vibrator. For others, it is simply a way to make back door lovin' cleaner and more enjoyable. So how does VibeReview's Anal Douche measure up to these tasks?

This is as simple an anal bulb syringe as you will find. The one I received from VibeReview has a thick phthalate-free rubber bulb or reservoir, a thin white plastic tube or nozzle that goes on top (and glows in the dark!) and is held in place by a thin, white disc that acts as a washer of sorts. You put the water in the reservoir, attach the nozzle, stick the nozzle in your hole, squirt the water inside, hold it for a bit, and then visit the loo.

Aside from it's glow-in-the-dark nozzle, this douche has no frills, like, say a rounded edge on the nozzle that the Fleet enemas you buy at the grocery store have, making plenty of lube an absolute necessity as it is damn pokey (especially should one, say -- and I'm just speaking theoretically here -- suffer from the chief side effect of opiate, constipation, which leads to the chief side effect of And I found the rubber bulb tough as hell to squeeze multiple times (have I mentioned what a weakling I am?) and keep compressed so the water doesn't get sucked back into the reservoir.

But if you want something cheap that does the job, the anal douche from VibeReview will suffice.


Casey Morgan said...

Nice vignette... ;-)

You know, you also can get a bulb enema (or 'syringe') from a medical supply shop, in different sizes. They can be less rigid (therefore easier to squeeze) and less pokey. Also inexpensive.

Hermione said...

That was a lovely little story. Can't say that I've ever had an enema outside a hospital, but good to know what possibilities exist.


Jigsaw Analogy said...

I agree that it's a nice vignette, but I can't say as it encouraged me to buy the product reviewed. Now, if one could hire Nanny Bea....

Natty said...

Casey - Thanks. Yes, I wanted to link to some better quality ones, but this was my commercial whoring for VibeReview where I review toys and supplies they send me for free. This is the only toy or tool that is remotely enema related they have and as you can tell from this review, I was rather underwhelmed. But at least I can say I'm an honest commercial whore. :-|

Hermione -- Thanks! Yep, klismaphila is definitely an option, especially should you ever need to take a break from spanking. :-D

JA - Ah, if VibeReview had sent me a Nanny Bea with this douche, I so would not have cared that it was pokey and difficult to use. And I'd probably be making more commission too (or rather, making any commission -- my honesty has not lent itself well to producing commission checks of late). ;-)

Marie said...

Just a little note here: I bought my rectal bulb syringe... in a drugstore in the US (Rite Aid, CVS or similar, I don't remember). They seem a bit rarer than douche/enema combination bags, though.

Another item that works well for the same usage is... a used Fleet enema bottle.

What I'd like to buy is an old-style clyster syringe - you know, with a plunger. They sell those in some online sex shops, but at rather inflated prices (c'mon, 100 € for that?). Also, I'm suspicious of whether such a product would actually work. And... I'm somewhat reluctant to give my address and credit card details to an online sex store.

Thus, I've not been able to far to indulge in my old fantasy of getting my dress pulled up then my derriere soundly clystered, before relieving myself in an porcelain chamber pot.

A few months ago, I came across an enema or douche can in a yard sale. I'm shy and couldn't bring myself to ask to see the nozzles...

But anyway, enema cans can be ordered from health equipment stores, and as far as I remember they are rather cheap... and you are sure that they would work.

Marie said...

Some years ago, I broke my arm. Nothing serious except for some pain, so I was on painkillers... which got me constipated. A workmate of mine, who was into natural health, mentioned herbal teas to me and, for quick relief, the "old fashioned remedy": a good old enema with a bag. This hit on my long unfulfilled fantasy of getting clystered, so I went to the feminine hygiene section, bought a combination syringe, and purged myself as soon as I got home. This was my introduction to enemas.

Hemorroids I got during pregnancy. There is something very satisfying in getting PrepH applied by one's significant other. :-)