I've been thinking of linking to my non-kink blog for awhile, and since my career is shot at this point (or seriously on hold for awhile), as well as my spanking life rather ephemeral for the time being (yeah, all those spanko cravings are soooo gone and nowhere to be found at the moment), I figured it would give you all something to read (I update that blog several times a week). Granted there aren't a lot of scintillating details. Mostly just the odd musings/rants of a housebound former academic who would say all this stuff to real people if I actually had more contact with them (okay, it's probably a tad more interesting than that though I can't promise just how much more).
In the future I'm going to be writing about my body and how we construct the concept of the body in popular, religious, and medical culture, and at some point my spanking kink is going to come into that. So, rather than spend a lot of time cross-posting and trying to remember what I said where, it felt like a better use of my energy to just direct you all there.
Besides, you clever stalkers out there have probably already figured out how to follow the links from this blog to that blog anyway (here to Mija then to Michelle). And I already outed myself in the comments section of the "Best birthday present of all" post (stupid Blogger won't let me delete the name, though I could delete the comment). So, you know, might as well just take the plunge and do it properly.
Though, not quite brave enough to link from there to here yet.
Oh, and in adding it to the links at the side, I also cleaned up those links and added some that I've been meaning to add for awhile. Enjoy.
Monday, January 09, 2006
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5 comments:
Go for it girl. I don't have a vanilla blog, but I do have a vanilla life. Lately, I've begun to wonder about the why's of all of the secrets. For me anyway, it seems as if it's my fears and self shame projected on others that I've been so afraid of. Sure I can't say I've been outed or outed myself to many in the vanilla world, but other than a few cybertrolls, I've yet to be hurt or rejected by those I've dared to let in to this side of me.... not one of those who mattered has come back and been upset.
You are who you are, and I'm discovering (thankfully) that intellegence, respect, stability and sanity actually does supercede bedroom quirks and some other odd proclivities when it comes to maintaining friendships and connections.
If I ever comment on your nilla site I'll take care not to be the csw.... I hope I don't forget.
But thank you for being so brave.
patty
That's an interesting point about self shame. I still wonder if that's a large part of why I still hesitate to mix the two parts of me together. I just feel so damn weird! lol
Feel free to be csw on my nilla site if you feel comfortable with that. I have a pretty interesting mix of people who post comments there anyway. :)
I applaud this decision...and in some ways, envy that you can. I am nowhere near fully *outing*, in my vanilla life and I'm sure shame has a lot to do with it. As you know, I struggle with this in general. Bleah. Of course, it doesn't help that I had told a couple of my best vanilla friends of my interest and...well, those relationships are almost nonexistent now, a direct result of my confession.
There are times when the weird sort of pressure of keeping two "lives" separate is wearing (secrets are burdens) and I think "oh hell, who cares anyhow" but then pragmatism (and shame?) takes over again.
Thanks for letting us into your "other" life. :)
poiesia
I'm so sorry your friends responded so badly to your opening up to them. That's really lousy.
I think the pressure of keeping two separate lives up is something that's been a burden for me as well. I mean, even here on Blogger it's a problem -- having to keep Natty and Michelle straight is quite a feat at times when I go to comment on a blog!
I've been doing that vasilating back and forth for awhile now about should I or shouldn't I with those same feelings -- "oh to hell with it!" and "oh but what if...?" Ultimately it's come down to something in between -- it's going to come out at some point, and I'd rather control it than leave it to chance.
Thanks, Uncle Michael, for your concern. I appreciate it, really. However, I would point you to my comment to poiesia regarding my thought process, which I assure you, was thorough, as it is most of the time.
Certainly part of my thought process included what the comments of others might be, recognizing possible jealousy or jibes. I know that I haven't really told my mom or my grandma, mostly because I know if I did they'd always be trying to get me spanked! ;) Ultimately, I've already prepared myself for the fact that some are going to react in a way that may be hurtful. But, as a writer, I'm developing a thick skin.
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