Sunday, February 27, 2005

More Auntie Natty tales

My five-year-old nephew stayed over last night.

I'd either forgotten about stuff from my boyfriend's earlier stay or figured it was out of the way enough that it wouldn't matter.

Well, both my memory and my judgment were a bit lacking.

My nephew had just been to a birthday party before and had a bag of goodies. Lots of small toys and candy. Like a bouncy ball. And little dinosaurs. And Sweetharts candies.

Which, of course, fell under the bed on several occasions (I live in a studio apartment) causing him to fish around looking for them.

And what should his pudgy little hands grab hold of under the bed?

Why, a line of wrapped condoms, a riding crop, and the bath brush.

"What are these 'Chell?" he asked, holding up the condoms. I thought for a second to think of something to say that would not make him even more curious.

"Um...they're...uh...like a kind of medicine."

He promptly threw those back under the bed.

He didn't ask about the riding crop, but clearly didn't understand its intended use as he kept using it to poke me. Though frankly, most of the time I wish that was all my boyfriend used it for... ;)

Then he pulled out the bath brush.

He knew EXACTLY what that was for.

"Hey! You getting a spankin' 'Chell. Stand up." And no, while I was a bit embarrassed, I did not let my nephew spank me. Just gave him a rather annoyed look. So then he tried to tickle me with the bristles.

"Yep," my boyfriend said when I told him about it on the phone this afternoon. "That's what happens to boys with too many sisters (my nephew has four - two older and twins 15 months younger; my boyfriend has five -- all older). They end up being tops so that they can finally beat on someone."

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