Saturday, December 18, 2010

It is blessed to give AND receive

At one point during my phone conversation today with A., the phone line became crackly.

“I’ll call you back and see if that makes it better.”

I hung up the phone and dialed the zillions of numbers that calling an international phone number entails.* Given my proclivity for transposing numbers thanks to my ME/CFS riddled brain, I have ended up calling the wrong number a couple of times this week -- particularly distressing given how late we talk (tonight it was after 1am UK time). So far, the two blokes to answer a call from me have been kindly night owls.

“Hello,” said A. in an even deeper voice than normal and a slightly posher accent.

“Oh dear, have I got the wrong number?” I played along with feigned concern.

“I believe you have.”

“I hope it’s not one of those strict English gentlemen.”

“I’m afraid it is, you naughty girl. Calling at such a late hour. I know what you American girls are like. In need of a good spanking.”

At which point, I giggled nervously but quickly began laughing. A. too began to laugh.

Eventually we returned to our spontaneous roleplay.

“I think what you need is a butt plug,” A. said, in a mixture of his normal voice and the one with which he answered the phone. “I know you American girls have them in your under-the-bed play place.”

“Oh dear!” I exclaimed in the playacting tone of before.

“I’m serious. You need to get a butt plug.” He was now in quintessential A. toppy voice.

“Really?” I pouted.

“Don’t moan. It’s only going to make it worse.”

I dug around in my naughty drawer.

“Is it okay if it’s the vibrating one? I can’t find anything else.” Plus, I much prefer that one as it actually does something (something yummy, I might add) other than just sit there.

“I guess so if that’s all we have. But don’t you dare turn it on until I say so.”

“Yes, Sir.”

All of the sparse phone play of the last few months has been with me topping, as has most of the play planning for when he returns.

“You do know,” he began, “that the universe inside that apartment will have to be evened out. You will pay for all the topping you do. It will be very Buddhist. Very Yin and Yang.”

“Would it be a very smart-ass thing to point out that Yin and Yang isn’t really Buddhist but Confucian?” I said as respectfully as I could (and incorrectly; I meant to say “Taoist” but said Confucian as that was the first word in my head after “Chinese”).

He laughed, but in that completely shocked at such impudence sort of way.

“Yes, it would be a VERY smart-ass thing to say!”

Which, of course, made me laugh.

“You are so out of practice at subbing.”

“Yes,” I said. “Yes, I am.”

“Is your butt plug in?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good.” Then with as cooly a dominant a voice as he could muster said, “Now, I want you to tell me the password to your eBay account.”

I gasped.

I bought part of his Christmas present on eBay last week but changed the password to my account so he wouldn’t see it before he got it, which, I admit, was an uncomfortable thing to do to the person with whom I share just about everything. And indeed he was very agitated, rather appalled, and a tad hurt. But he did acknowledge without an ounce of shame that the first thing he would do is look to see what I bought. So. You know. It was for his own good. Tough Christmas Love.

“That is a TOTAL violation of your dom privileges!” I exclaimed.

“Well...you’re in...total violation of...my eBay privileges!”

I divulged nothing.

“I hate surprises,” he muttered. The same way he has almost every day since he found out I’d suspended his access to my eBay account. I, however, love them and find the old adage that it is more blessed to give than to receive even more accurate in this situation.

The switch in roles had been rather precarious up to this point, but A. then shifted into full top gear, telling me when to turn the dial up on my anal vibe, how he was going to turn Sunday afternoons into Punishment Day, what he was going to do to me on said Punishment Day.

When A. first started sharing more about his subby fantasies a few years ago, I worried that I would have a hard time being able to think of him in a dominant sort of way again. But I quickly found out that would not be a problem. Once he’s in top mode and I’m in Natty mode, it’s hard to believe I could have ever doubted his ability to be the same dominant A. I fell in love with eight years ago.

To everything there is a time. A time to top. A time to bottom. A time to give. A time to receive. Tonight was my time to receive. And while I enjoy giving more and more as time goes by, it sure is a blessing to receive.

_________________________________________________
*Yes, I know. I need to familiarize myself with the speed dial function on my phone.

4 comments:

Jigsaw Analogy said...

I'm so glad that you got the chance to receive as well as to give! Here's hoping you have better health in 2011!

indy said...

I'm not sure which of you was more evil in this little story. ;) Go, both of you!

Kaelah said...

Michelle, I can absolutely relate to your experience. Ludwig hasn't got a submissive side, but we started switching from time to time a while ago. As I wrote in one of my recent posts the interesting result is that I don't see him as a lesser top now. Quite the contrary – for me being given the chance to switch roles from time to time goes along with a growing desire for bottoming as well. It's like a positive feedback loop. It seems that topping Ludwig from time to time allows me to play out more extreme scenarios on the bottom side as well, including a much more dominant behaviour from Ludwig than I was comfortable with earlier.

I wish the two of you happy holidays and all the best for 2011!

Natty said...

JA: Thank you! And you as well. Hoping all of us with this terrible disease get more hope in 2011!

Indy: LOL! That's going to make me chuckle all night.

A. says one, that clearly I (Natty) am more evil because I took away his eBay privileges while he has not done the same to me (he actually tried to argue that makes him rather saintly, to which I quickly pointed out that I have quite willing respected his wishes that I not look at his "my eBay" section while he would clearly not show the same respect, to which he responded that I didn't even give him the free will to refrain from looking at what I bought him, to which I responded that by his own admission he would have used said free will to immediately look at what I bought him....and on and on it went -- it was good fun).

He also says that two, you've clearly set the bar for "evil" pretty low. ;-)

Kaelah: I definitely concur that A. emerges from his subby play far, far more dominant than he might have been otherwise. Indeed I find that if we both happen to be in a subby/bottomy mood at the same time, I tend to go ahead and top, knowing that when we're finished, he's so going to want to beat my ass. ;-)