Kinky Santa at FetLife

So I'm pimping FetLife's "Sitting on Kinky Santa's Lap Giveaway" here on the blog to get my name in the hat an extra time. Shameless, I know. Especially as it probably won't increase my chances of winning all that much given the sheer number of people at FetLife. But hey, just might get lucky.

What did I ask Santa for?

• A Strapped Satin Jacquard Corset from BigGalsLingerie   (who have a number of hot plus-size dresses -- including cute and sexy holiday outfits!)
  
• An Impact Play Kit from Maui Kink
  
• A Custom Cane Case and Canes from Maui Kink   (be sure to check out their amazing and unique collection of toys, including one I've got my eye on - the Victorian Rug Beater Paddle [scroll down on the link to view])

The pickings are a bit slim for those of us who identify primarily as spankos rather than more extreme BDSMers. Though if you fancy a corset or a flogger, you're set.

I wonder if next year Kinky Santa might be able to fill his bag of toys from these vendors:

• The London Tanners (been drooling over Ian's toys for years now)
• Bobbies Drop Seats (I want the sailor dress...and the Emily dress...and...and)
• Adam & Gillian's (who doesn't need a sjambok?)
• Academy Wear (The headmaster says I need a gym slip and bottle green undies)
• Medical Toys (er...just...::blush::)
  

I'm sure I'll think of a few more later. Feel free to add some you think are missing from Kinky Santa's toybag in the comments section.

The great spanko dorm

I have been having the most surreal dreams lately. Here' s my latest addition to the REM cycle spanking file.

All us spankos lived in a sort of communal setting, like a dormitory that was somewhat rustic, as if it were a giant log cabin.

Everyone was away at a Shadow Lane party except me as I was in bed (geesh, I’m even sick in my dreams). A. was with me, as was someone else who I can’t quite name now (Nanny Bea? Casey? Indy?). I was waiting for everyone to return so I could get spanked. I was specifically waiting for sparkle, Chris, Adele Haze, Mija and Pablo, who were stuck in traffic (note that everybody rode around in hovercrafts).

The great spanko dorm was in California, I believe. But it was so cold I didn't want to pull back the covers and get out of bed.

I'm sure there was more narrative but all I can remember now having just waken up was that I thought I had found sparkle already in bed and I was feeling very disappointed that I might have missed my spanking.

Spanking the monkey?

A. found this picture from Do-While's "WtF photos from Old Times" page. While this one was the most relevant to the topic of this blog, there were a few others with shades of kink.

I can't tell if she's wishing she were in the stuffed monkey's place or if she's thinking about getting this young man home and spanking him. I mean, she does kind of have a just you wait sort of look...

Kinky twitter

The good folks at Tweet Cloud have made a handy list of the top words in my tweets over the last month. A nice mix of the banal and the kinky, wouldn't you say?

HNT: Birthday spanking

Or all nekkid, as the case may be.

In the end, it was 37 strokes of the cane. No uniform or dress. Just rattan and my naked flesh -- which I can't believe I'm showing here -- after a warm up with the rubber paddle and his hand.

It was far more serious than I expected it to be. And I was a total baby throughout. If I ever figure out how to edit with iMovie, I'll try and post all 3:04 minutes of it.

After the spanking, my wicked A. tied me to the bed with the Under the Bed Restraints* -- though I did give him a bit of a fight. Upon subduing me, he affixed my ankles to our spreader bar with the ankle restraints, lifted my legs up and wide, and violated me with the Anal Vibe, the Silver Bullet, and the Miracle Massager.

It was one of the nicest, stingiest birthday spankings I've had and the best birthday orgasm ever.

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*The Under-the-Bed Restraints will be reviewed in an upcoming post. Note that VibeReview is having their Winter Sale at the moment and gives me a little kickback if you purchase items at their site by clicking on a link from my blog. 

Hang on

A few days ago I was reading the (non-kink) blog of a fellow Portlander with the title "Hanging Blog Syndrome." I immediately recognized the malady. Despite having my shiny new Macbook for almost a month now (thank you again, dear friends who donated it!), you can almost hear the creaking of this poor blog as it hangs forlornly in cyberspace.

My blogging is always rather meager when A. is here -- as is his productivity also. Two people sharing a 400sq foot studio for an uninterrupted two and a half months is not particularly conducive to introspective composition.

And, of course, that chronic illness I'm always whining about makes writing* difficult when my brain has turned to cream of wheat and I'm too weak to sit up in bed, drag my fingers across a keyboard and input all the thoughts I've had during the hour upon hour of laying in bed (as has been the case off and on these last few months).  You have no idea how jealous I am of those of you who can blog every day or even every week. And even more jealous of those of you who get to read all those brilliant blogs (like this new one from Queen of the commenters, Indy).

If I could write via mere thought, my hanging blog syndrome would be a thing of the past. Though the brevity and immediacy of Twitter has made reporting fresh spankings and random pervy thoughts less onerous than blogging. I suspect you will continue to find me Twittering my kinkiness more than I blog it.

But A. is leaving on Thursday. Bad for cuddles and spanking (among other things) yet more promising for blogging, as is the recent return of my writing head. Just in time to write about the birthday spanking that I'm sure to get later this evening.

My British A. is still adjusting to the whole concept of birthday spanking. He has suggested that because I didn't get my birthday spanking on my birthday last year, it didn't count and should be added to this year's spanking. But...but...hang on here. This could just get silly rather quickly. Do we add all the years I didn't get a birthday spanking? Er...maybe I shouldn't be giving him ideas.

So I appeal to you, oh sacred jury of the spankosphere, oh International Court of Correction.** Am I not right that a birthday spanking given -- regardless of whether it's on the actual birthday or not -- means I have fulfilled my birthday spanking debt to the universe?

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*Not to mention spanking and sex. We never have gotten to our Rules of the Lashes game. And I was chagrined to note last night after bathing that I think I've only been clean shaven down there twice the entire time A. has been here. So wrong.

**I have been warned that the Court of A. is a higher authority than the International Court of Correction. Though you all could help set precedent, no?