Friday, June 22, 2007

A bunch of random spanko ramblings

As that handful of you who read my non-kink blog may know, I'm getting over another virus (ah, the joys of a compromised immune system), hence the reason I haven't been posting much. But, aside from an odd day here and there, it hasn't really dampened my spanking mojo. Seriously, you have no idea how much I've been fantasizing about getting my ass whipped. Well, okay, I suspect a few of you probably do. ::grin::

Regarding my last post, I can report that I have had a bit more success in the orgasm department. Interesting enough, it happened while I was topping A. over the phone and trying to focus on being as cruel as possible to distract me from the vertigo and nausea from the virus in my inner ear. What can I say? I am definitely connecting with my inner domme. ::evil grin::

But, in the yin-yang world we live, I turned very subby after that -- as did A. turn very toppish. I began to fantasize about being a cruel princess who is then punished for treating her servant so horribly. Being ordered to appear in the throne room where I'd be stripped naked and tied to a bench. Whipped severely with a riding crop or maybe a birch. In the middle of my whipping, my nanny would be ordered to hold my cheeks apart while ginger root is inserted. Then the whipping would continue. ::dreamy sigh::

Actually the fantasy I've been having the last several days involves the um,
rectal exam my doctor gave me in March. The thing is, the whole thing was so utterly embarrassing. Truly and wholly mortifying. But, um, well, it's that embarrassment that so turns me on now. I keep thinking of having to strip and have my ass probed with a gloved, KY-jellied finger. It's like all I can think about right now. ::moan::

Though my nurse the other day also gave me a bit to fantasize about when I was getting my blood checked. I was trying to swipe a couple of latex gloves while she was getting my chart and she caught me.

"I, um, was going to play with the glove," I lied as quickly as one would come to me.

"Huh?"

"You know, like, while I was waiting."

"I don't know what I'm going to do with you," she shook her head. Of course, I could think of a few things she could do...

Then when it was time to prick my finger, she told me to wash my hands.

"Already did it."

"Are your hands still warm?"

"I hope so," I said as I rubbed them together.

"Well, think hot thoughts." She paused. "Wait, that wasn't what I meant...I mean, not like that."

I laughed mischievously.

"I know what you were thinking. You're bad. Laughing like that. I suppose you were thinking of your boyfriend."

"Uh, yeah." Actually I was thinking of my boyfriend watching as she bent me over the exam table and probed and spanked my ass. ::evil giggle::

Okay, I'm watching Conan O'Brian right now and there's a comedian talking about how the doctor at the hospital gave him opiate suppositories. "It was like the best day of my life." That wonderful opiate feeling starting at the ass.

Oh, yes please. I could go for a bit of that. ::big smile::

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

A startled sister and fucking frustration

When last I left you, dear readers, my beloved had left me all hot and bothered and was making me wait until Friday (last Friday) to attend to my...um...shall we say, excitement.

Unfortunately his brother ended up staying over the weekend, and I had a nasty fall Thursday night (thanks to a medication that made my already poor balance truly awful) leaving me with some minor injuries and not much mojo. Hence we postponed our phone play until Monday.

So yesterday A. sent me an email telling me to be in my school uniform with the long handled brush and wooden spoon handy when he called at 5:30pm (my time - PST). And being the obedient girl that I am, I was appropriately dressed along with said implements (well, actually I couldn't find the wooden spoon so I substituted the wooden spatula) at 5:30pm sharp. A. finally got around to calling me at 5:50pm (ah, the double standards of the top/bottom relationship...) to tell me he was going out for a smoke and would call me back in a few minutes.

Ten minutes later the phone rings and I answer with a "heya" only to hear my little sister reply with "you were clearly expecting someone else." D'oh!

"Um, yeah..." ::giggle:: "Actually we were, um, going to be, um, doing stuff..." Standing there in my school uniform made me feel particularly conspicuous, even if she couldn't see me.

"Oh, oh, stop! Just...I don't want to hear about it!"

I helped raise my sister and, as you can see, there is still a bit of a mother-daughter dynamic between the two of us, though most of the time it's more like a Lorelei-Rory dynamic.

"Honestly, Michelle, I don't know what I'm going to do with you. You're naughty." She paused. "So, does that help your...whatever?"

I blushed and again felt remarkably conscious of the fact that I was in my school uniform.

"Um...well...actually...um...yes it will."

"Ohmygod! You guys are so weird!"

"Hey, you're the one who brought up the 'naughty' bit."

"Just...I don't wanna hear about you're little phone sex or whatever it is..."

And we then changed the topic for the next three or four minutes until A. called.

I'm not too worried about her thinking that we're weird. For one thing, it's not like it affects our relationship. But I also have long suspected that my dear little sister is a spanko in deep denial. She's quite conservative when it comes to sex and that conservativism extends to all things kinky. But someday when she's ready...

At any rate, A. thought I was naughty too and spanked me (or...well, you know how phone spanking works) for being a slutty school girl. Then he finally let me attend to my state of arousal. Except that I COULDN'T FUCKING COME! When I finally realized that it wasn't going to happen, I yelled out a hearty "Goddamnit!" and just about started to cry.

I think I've only had one half-way decent orgasm since Valentine's Day. I'll always be just about there and then everything stops. Sorta like the Little Engine That Could, except this is more like the little clitoris that can't. Or whatever the mechanism is that causes orgasm.

I know it's just an energy issue. Sex is a lot of work, and I just don't have the energy resources that are needed for it. And it's certainly not a topic people talk about in ME/CFIDS groups. Granted, most people with ME/CFIDS don't even have a libido so I guess I'm lucky in that respect. But the whole thing is really pissing me off.

Hmm...this is the third Tuesday on the trot that I've posted. This might start to become a routine if I'm not careful. ::grin::