Saturday, July 22, 2006

My inner pain slut is back

Yup.

The day before last A. was waving a moxa stick over some acupuncture points on my low back as instructed by my acupuncturist. Since it was hot, I was only wearing a white tank top and my red cotton panties with the white flowers on them. It's funny because while I own all kinds of thongs, velvet, satin, sheer and crotchless panties, this red cotton pair always makes me feel sexiest.

At any rate, after we finished with the moxa, A. flipped through the channels and settled in to watching First Blood on AMC. I was still laying on the bed in my tank top and red flowery knickers. As we watched John Rambo jump off a cliff and booby trap his way out of the woods past the sheriffs, A. began smacking my ass. At one point I started to move.

"I wouldn't get up if I were you." So ominous. So sexy.

I giggled a little and lay back down. A. tucked my panties in between my cheeks and continued smacking. The big knife and glistening pectorals got the testosterone pumping because during one of the commercials A. stated as he went out to smoke, "when I come back in, you're getting a Rambo spanking."

I thought he was kidding until he started piling up the pillows on the bed upon his return.

He started out with some good hand spanks to warm up. Then moved to the strap. After one cheek got a disproportionate number of smacks, he'd move to the other side of the bed and make sure the other cheek got its fair share. The whacks hurt, but didn't quite feel as overwhelming as before.

But it was during the caning that I realized my pain threshold had come back up. He was slicing away and at one point I realized there was something black on my clean, white sheet. For a moment I became totally transfixed by what turned out to be some sort of lint, oblivious to the fact that a stingy, whippy rattan cane was searing my ass.

Later I even asked him to try out the riding crop.

My blood vessels must be robust indeed as I barely have any bruising at all. Just a little on my right breast from the riding crop.

I kinda want to try out the hairbrush or the paddle next. But then again, not sure if I want those to be allowable again. ;)

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Inspiring saints

I get daily readings from the Greek Orthodox archdiocese each day in my email inbox. It includes the epistle and gospel reading of the day, as well as the apolytikion and kontakion (types of hymns) for the saint whose feast day it is.

And -- lordy I'm going to hell -- frequently the biography of the saint so sets off the spanking fantasies for me.

Consider yesterday's - St. Marina:

This Martyr lived during the reign of Claudius II (268-270). She was from Pisidia of Cilicia and was the only daughter of a certain priest of the idols.

On being orphaned by her mother, she was handed over to a certain woman who instructed her in the Faith of Christ. When she was fifteen years old, she was apprehended by the ruler of Olmbrius, and when asked her name, homeland, and faith, she answered: "My name is Marina; I am the offspring of the Pisidia; I call upon the Name of my Lord Jesus Christ." Because of this she endured bonds, imprisonment, and many whippings, and was finally beheaded in the year 270.


You do kinda wonder if whoever put together the lives of the saints had a bit of a BDSM thing going.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Le vice Anglais

T. on the soc.sexuality.spanking newsgroup was playing around with the Google trends function, in which you can see who (i.e. what city) is doing the most searches for a certain topic -- in this case, it was "spanking."

Eight of the top ten were from the UK. Number eight was from Ireland and Number ten was Philadelphia.

They don't call it "Le vice Anglais" for nothing.

And when I typed that phrase into Google, this interesting social history of our kink was at the top of the list.

Though I really wish they would have referenced the bold printed terms. Or just avoided the whole bolding of terms altogether.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Natty's guide to spanking and blood thinners

So you've just found out you or your partner are going to be on blood thinners for awhile. Or even worse, if you're like me you're on them for life. Is it okay to be spanked when you're on blood thinners?

Anticoagulants are not a death sentence to your spanking life, but they do sorta put you on parole.

  1. Take your INR into account. Obviously if it's high -- as in 3 or above -- spanking is probably not a good idea.
  2. Age is a factor. The hematologist explained to me that the older one gets, the weaker one's blood vessels and the greater the chance for uncontrolled bleeding. As I'm in my early 30s, I'm a bit better off than someone in, say, their 60s.
  3. Make sure you're getting plenty of Vitamin C as a lack of it will make your blood vessels more fragile (though be careful not to take too much as that can affect your INR).
  4. What works for me may not work for you and what works for you may not work for me. I've been playing for several years before starting anticoagulants again so my backside has had some time to toughen up. On the other hand, seven years ago when I was on anticoagulants, I was bleeding and clotting in ways medical literature says I shouldn't have been. Bodies react differently at different times. If you've never been spanked before and are taking Coumadin, don't start out with a caning or a paddling because you saw that someone else managed it alright. Even if you have been getting spanked for years, it doesn't necessarily mean that a cane or a paddle will be okay. Every body is different. Don't expect yours to be the same as someone else's.
  5. Remember that Warfarin interacts with at least 186 different foods, drugs, and herbs. Arnica, for instance, is a common herb spankos use that interacts with Warfarin. I don't know how much would be absorbed through the skin in a cream, but again, everybody reacts differently, and it can affect your spanking play. My INR, for instance, shoots through the roof just from drinking a cup of Tension Tamer Celestial Seasoning tea that has some herbs that are theoretically associated with anticoagulation -- licorice, cinnamon, chamomile, ginger. My anticoag nurse thought that there couldn't possibly be enough in a tea bag to make a difference, and unlike their Ginko Biloba tea, there is no warning on the box about drinking it while on anticoagulants, but apparently I'm that sensitive while others are not. A list of drugs and herbs that interact with Warfarin can be found here (another handy site can be found here). My point is that if you've had several glasses of wine, eaten a lot of garlic, red chili peppers, and pineapple, then took some Tylenol for your headache, a heavy spanking session could land you in the emergency room.
  6. There is always some risk of uncontrolled bleeding. While it didn't happen because I was spanked, I have hemorrhaged in the past and it was NOT fun (it was in my knee joint and involved IV morphine every twenty minutes and three days in the hospital). The risk of uncontrolled bleeding in the buttocks is substantially less but still there on some level, though you're more likely to develop hematoma nodules (I have some on my belly right now from a month and half ago and while they're not dangerous, I can't imagine wanting to sit on them for a couple of months). Depending on how hard the spanking, and how much (I know a lot of spankos in long distance relationships have a tendency to play a LOT in a short period), you are traumatizing the body to some degree. The more trauma, the more chance of bleeding. Tops have a lot of responsibility in watching what's happening to the bottom they are spanking. Likewise spankees will have to alert their spanker if something out of the ordinary starts happening.
The "cover my ass" note: I'm not a medical doctor and this post should not be construed as medical advice. It's a fricking spanking blog for gawd's sake!

At any rate, here's to many safe and happy spanking!

(This post was inspired and reviewed by Doc Tsai, who has a great spanking site of his own.)

Thursday, July 13, 2006

And the window slams shut again

Spending the last three days in bed has reminded me of the following equation:

"Great, rough fucking" + CFIDS/ME = Days of feeling like icky, icky shit

Don't even want to think about sex right now. Not even all that keen about getting spanked either. Though cuddles kick ass.

Guess maybe I need to listen to my nurse more when she talks about me being fragile.

Actually, her comment hit a particularly raw nerve for me. While I'm glad that being on anticoagulants is not affecting my spanking life as much as I had feared, it's still been hard for me to accept that I'm going to have to take this medication for the rest of my life. It is literally rat poison. While the potential for bleeding isn't necessarily as bad as everyone makes out, it's still there and potentially dangerous. Warfarin interacts with 186 different medicines/foods/herbs so that I'm always having to think about what I'm eating, or be very careful about any new medications, herbal supplements, Celestial Seasonings teas, etc. I have to get my blood checked frequently (once a week right now, and then once a month once I'm stabilized -- which, at the rate I'm going, God only knows how long that will take) so that they can titrate the drug appropriately. I'm supposed to wear an ID bracelet stating that I take this medicine so that if I ever, say, got hit by a truck, the paramedics won't start cutting into me. And it makes my complicated health situation REALLY complicated now, especially in regards to treatment. Knowing that it's going to be like this for the rest of my life (and I'm only 33!) is still a bit hard to swallow.

Being so sick over the last several years has meant that I've been made to be painfully aware of how fragile I am. Spanking has been that one thing where, at least when I'm not too sick, I can forget about it for awhile. Indeed, sometimes I look at spanking as an act of defiance, a sort of "fuck you!" to pain and illness. And, of course, there has always been the hope that one day I will be better and not be fragile anymore. Yet now I'm going to be fragile (at least on some level) always.

Ultimately, though, I have to honor that part of me that is fragile. Too often I'm too focused on trying to forget about it rather than integrating it into who I am. It made me wonder about my post last year about spanking and being whole. In a way it's like I've brought spanking to the painful parts of my life, but I haven't really brought the painful parts of my life to spanking. I suppose this is simply a variation on my "letting Natty get spanked" thoughts. It's hard to bring my vulnerable, fragile side to spanking. Frankly, when I'm not ignoring that part of me, I just want to lavish it with lots of cuddles. But is there a place for that fragile part of me within my spanking life?

Hmm...think I'm just sort of rambling tonight.

At any rate, I will say that I love my anticoagulation nurse. She's that perfect mixture of sweet but bossy. On the one hand, she'll teasingly scold me when my hands are too cold or feign sternness when she asks if I'm going to be good today and give her a therapeutic INR. And she always gives me a hug when I leave. Not sure that I really have any spanking fantasies about her, but she does have a lot of those qualities I imagine in a good nanny.

Monday, July 10, 2006

That window opened quickly

So, after posting my post last night, I closed down my laptop, brushed my teeth -- you know, all that stuff you do before going to bed. A. was out on the balcony -- aka his office during the summer -- where he was busy doing football research on his laptop

"I'm going to bed," I said through the screen door. I sorta hung there for a minute watching him.

"You want me to tuck you in?"

"Okay," with unusual meekness. I turned out the light and laid down on the bed. It was warm, so I didn't get under the covers.

"Look at you there." He slapped my bottom as he came over to the bed. "You so want a spanking."

"Nuh uh." Which is, of course, code for "damn right."

Now, I hadn't laid down in bed expecting to get spanked, though as I laid there I was thinking that it might be nice. I was feeling a little bit better than I had earlier in the day. Yet I wasn't sure if physically I was up to it. As soon as A. smacked my ass, I knew I was.

"Let's get these down." He tugged at my lavender jammie bottoms with the sheep, then at my white cotton panties. After giving me a few light smacks, he sat down in the middle of the bed. "I think you need to get over my lap."

And I did.

And I got a good hard spanking. With lots of cuddles and kisses. He'd stroke my hair and then rain down stinging smacks on my sit spot, even going so far as lifting each cheek (yeah my buns are hardly made of steel) and spanking my sensitive skin. It hurt. A lot. And believe it or not, my bedtime pain meds (hydrocodone and oxycodone, among them) had already kicked in. Yikes!

But it was the perfect bedtime spanking. Made me sleep well and wake up feeling good the next day (well, that and some Chinese medicine).

One of the things I got spanked for last week was forgetting to get some condoms at my clinic when I went to get my blood checked. So you can bet I remembered to get some today. Hey, they're free and plentiful. Very plentiful. My nurse got a whole bag of them for me while she was waiting for the doctor to decide what my Coumadin dose should be since my INR was low yet again.

And, you know, they came in handy after my spanking tonight. A. made me dress in my red satin bra and panties covered with a white slip, which he lifted to deliver several solid smacks with the strap between my legs. Then turned me over and landed the strap on my backside. After that it was time for, well, using those condoms.

It was great, rough fucking. Which is just what I needed after getting my blood checked today. My nurse was asking if I'd had any new symptoms and I mentioned that my heart had been doing some weird, fluttering stuff along with an increase in the palpitations I frequently have. There had also been a couple of episodes of mild pain/pressure that went away after a few minutes.

"And you didn't go to the emergency room because...?" K. looked at me sternly.

"Cause it went away after a few minutes," I shrugged.

"Right." She felt my hand and sent me to run it under warm water again to heat it up so she could get plenty of blood from my finger. Later after making my appointment for next week she made me promise if that I had those heart symptoms again I would go to the emergency room. "You're just...I know you're not going to like this word, but, well you're fragile."

Sigh.

Among the many things I love about A. is that he doesn't treat me like I'm going to break. Well, not usually. Granted this last month has been a bit tricky. And tonight he was concerned about having sex since the last time we tried it I had a weird blood pressure fluctuation. But it turned out great. Sure, our buggery plan didn't quite work out. Yet when all else fails, the missionary position gets the job done.

And after the lovemaking, I had to be punished for my sluttiness.

"Go fetch the cane." It was hanging in the bathroom to keep it supple. He whacked my breasts then nodded toward the quilt. "On the bed." I climbed up on all fours, my left arm quivering a bit from the previous workout a few minutes earlier on my back. And my evil lover landed several wicked slices with that cane, particularly on my right cheek. When I looked in the mirror, I had four bright red weals on that right cheek.

Yep. Love it when those windows open back up again.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Waiting for the next window

In the last post I said that A. had decided to spank me every day at 6pm. And he did put that strap and cane to good use for a few days -- especially the strap. Every day I would stop whatever I was doing, take down my trousers and panties, lay on the bed and take my strapping like a good girl. One day he'd even forgotten until I laid down on the bed knicker-less.

I really am such a good girl.

On the fourth of July he let me off as it was a holiday (and he was feeling lazy). Since then I've been sick (which is actually quite normal for me), so not much spanking. Though there have been threats.

When I said something about cutting up a slippery mango in my hand a few days earlier, I was promptly told that if he saw me doing that he'd spank my ass (i.e. knives and anticoagulants don't go well together).

And Friday when I got back from acupuncture and sat half drooling on myself from exhaustion he told me to go to bed. I said something about needing to go talk to the neighbor, to which he reiterated that I needed a rest. "Don't make me get out me strap," he said with a grin.

I was feeling better yesterday and was going to get spanked at bedtime since I was napping at six, but for some reason we didn't quite get around to it at bedtime before I fell asleep (though I'd already taken my pain meds so that would probably have been cheating anyway).

And today we were gonna try the 6pm thing, but after I woke up from my afternoon nap I was feeling really icky again. I warned A. to spank me before my nap. You know, take advantage of those windows of opportunity, which have been few and far between this last week, but don't think he was quite in the mood at that moment. Not that another window won't be around soon.

When that window does come, I'll let you know.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

The bad, the better and the experimental

So I had the big appointment with the hematologist on Thursday.

The bad news is that because my pulmonary embolism(emboli) was unprovoked (i.e. there's no obvious reason for it) and was a fairly serious one (I had clots in both lungs and fluid around the lung) I'm at high risk for a fatal pulmonary embolism. Therefore I will need to be on anticoagulants for the rest of my life.

The better news is that the bleeding risk may not be as bad as everybody makes out. I asked the hematologist what the risk really is.

"Well, because you're young, the risk for cerebral hemorrhage is about 0.5%."

Which, you know, is comforting. My brain suddenly bleeding would suck.

But that's not quite what I was interested in.

"So, what about, um, well, like...uh...hard impact like stuff."

"Oh, well, you're going to bruise more. But people who work in jobs where they bruise a lot do okay."

This still wasn't answering my real question very well. I was going to have to be specific.

"I..."

I took a deep breath.

"I..."

How to phrase it so I didn't sound like a total freak?

"I..."

I looked at him. Looked at the wall behind him. Looked at the floor. Looked back at him. Looked at the sink. Looked back at him. He had been smiling politely, waiting for me to ask whatever it was I was trying to ask. But the smile was fading as the seconds ticked by. I was just going to have spill it.

"I have a spanking fetish..." I looked at the wall. Then back at the doctor, who for a split second had that "what kind of freak are you?" look. But only for a split second.

"Well..." Now it was his turn to look away and think of an answer. "This is going to sound weird but --"

"-- That's okay," I chuckled. "I've just asked you a weird question."

"You're basically going to have to experiment and figure out what works."

"Yeah," I nodded. "I mean, I knew you weren't going to be able to say specifically what would work."

"Yes," he said. "Unfortunately I can't say 'yes, based on extensive research and clinical trials...'"

We laughed.

"I'm just worried about bleeding like I did in my knee seven years ago when I was on anticoagulants," I said. "I just never want to go through that again." And I don't. That hurt like fucking hell. Like beyond morphine hurt.

"Well, at that time you were post-operative so you were at very high risk of bleeding. And knee bleeds particularly are exquisitely painful. But, you know, you'll bruise more but other than that I don't know. You're young so your veins are strong."

Well, okay. Maybe this life sentence won't be the end of the world.

Upon hearing the news that we were going to need to experiment, A. got out the toys. Lined up the strap, the cane, and the riding crop on the bed. Made me strip down to my panties and bra and bend over the pillows he placed to the left of the implements, where he then left me while he went outside to smoke.

When he returned, it was knickers down. And just to be sadistic -- as well as maybe keep the bruising down -- he rubbed ice over my bottom before laying into me with the strap.

Normally I like the strap, as well as the belt. It will hurt when it first hits but a split second later turn into a very pleasurable sensation.

Not then. It just hurt. A lot!

Damn I'm so out of practice.

When I think about it, this was my first real spanking since the end of December. And that was the only significant one I'd had since August before that.

At any rate, he whacked me for what seemed like a long time. Hard (though he said later they weren't really that hard). And the business end kept nailing me right on the inside of my crack.

Yes, I kicked some. And squirmed to move my bottom out of the way (though not enough to really get it out of the way). And cried out into my pillows.

Then he did a "six of the best" with the strap. Those, he said, were fairly hard. And they sure felt like it.

By this point I was starting to get some anxious-looking red blotches along my crack. A. decided that was enough of the strap.

But that just meant it was time for the cane.

I have to admit, I've been kind of curious about how well I would handle the cane. I can report that while my blood vessels seem to handle it swimmingly, my endorphines were not kicking in like they should have. This time I knew he wasn't hitting me very hard. But it still hurt. To the point where I almost started crying.

I think my spanking virginity grew back like Mija's did.

A. didn't bother with the riding crop. Apparently there are limits to his sadism. Though he did utilize the strap and the cane later on my, um, womanhood. But that was after he cuddled me. And let his fingers wander.

Now that we know he can spank me without fear of me definitely bleeding internally or anything (I mean, there'll always be some risk), he's making use of all his pent up need to spank. He calls it "getting me back into practice." Indeed he's now decided that I'm to be spanked daily. Every night I'm to be on the bed at 6pm with my trousers and knickers down.

::gulp::

I think this is one of those "be careful what you wish for" situations.

So, the good news in all this is that he doesn't even have to spank very hard for it to really hurt. The bad news is that...well, he doesn't even have to spank me very hard for it to really hurt!

But, you know, the important thing is that my spanking life seems safe. :)