Thursday, March 30, 2006

My mojo is back

Yep, I'm still tired as hell and spend most of the day in bed, but laying there gives me plenty of time to fantasize about getting my ass spanked. The current fantasy is actually a fairly severe one and involves me tied the bed and getting it with a riding crop, like in this oldie but goodie. Or maybe even birched.


I think I need to go back to bed now.


Saturday, March 25, 2006

My blog is not a personal ad

Lately I've been getting emails from guys wanting to "correspond" with me. Sometimes they manage to realize my real name is Michelle (listed right under "name" at the left). Sometimes they don't.

First, I have a boyfriend. We're very happy together. Indeed, if you read this blog at all, you would know that.

Second, if you read this blog you would also know that I've been really sick for the last few months. I can barely keep up with email from friends and family. Starting up longstanding correspondences with total strangers is just not going to make it onto my priority list.

Don't get me wrong. I'm really happy that my writing resonates with people, and I'm very happy to discuss specific topics (though I can't always promise I'll be prompt in my reply). If you're a woman, you apparently already know this because when women email me they usually have something specific in mind.

However, if you email me hoping to find a girlfriend, your email is going to be ignored -- at best. If I'm really cranky that day I'll probably tell you to fuck off.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

A few things

Okay, gonna try and post this again. Tried to last night but my laptop shut down abruptly when it got too hot (one of the downsides of the Averatec) and I lost the post. Though I had already been online for about four hours, so it was probably some divine way of making me go back to resting (A. will be so pleased).

At any rate, one -- I'm out to my godfather,, what do you call your gay best friend when you're the hag? He's my godfather because he was my sponsor when I became Catholic six years ago and in the Byzantine rite that makes him very distinctly my godfather (indeed my priest quizzed me about whether or not there was a chance we might get married because that would be "awkward" and involve some sort of dispensation from the bishop). When he came out of the closet a couple of years later, it took our godfather/goddaughter relationship to new levels -- for the best, I believe.

Like many hag/gay guy relationships before the guy realizes he's gay, we tried going out for a bit but, of course, had no sexual chemistry. So we were talking the other night about how neither of us really understood what sexual chemistry was like until we started to explore our sexuality as it was meant to be. And I had to explain that happened for me when I typed "spanking" into Google.

"That's a huge one [fetish]."

Yup, it is indeed.

Second, I just watched All About Eve a few nights back and -- omg -- is the relationship between Margo and Bill not just gushing with spanking tension? You could cut it with the proverbial, cliched old knife. Oh, and brilliant movie by the way. Great writing.

Third, being out a bit more now has bumped up my spanking mojo a bit. The liberation of it all, perhaps? Chatting with him helped me clarify in my mind a bit more how to explain my attraction to the sub-fetish within spanking that is the punishment kink.

However, I've been on the laptop another four hours now after reading email and chatting with A. so I'll have to write more about those thoughts another time.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Race, privilege and spanking

I have so many spanko musings I want to write about as I've been spending a lot of time in bed with nothing to do but think. But I'm still too tired to write much or even talk much so it's going to have just ferment for a bit.

But, I do have a bit of reading for you all. No tests will be forthcoming but comments will get you extra credit. ;)

First off is this article from Alternet about a course on African-American sexuality. Let's face it: most of us blogging or posting to newsgroups about spanking are white. Not all certainly, but...well, the vast majority. And it's something I've found rather curious.

Among his students, he finds that "certain things are considered taboo because they're considered things that white people do. For example, gay and lesbian identity is considered white, introduced to blacks during slavery and not organic to Africa. Religiosity also comes up; sexual practice is conflated with religious prerogatives."

And it's not just us bloggers, most academics studying sexuality are white too.

...a notion prevails that sexuality studies is something that white people do and something that people of color have done to them. This paradigm sets up a power dynamic that can leave people of color dissociated from the sexuality research field.

And we're not just talking about homosexuality or interracial dating. The topic of BDSM is also part of this course on African-American sexuality.

"We've had this motif that runs through the course: It's called power," Baham says. "I ask the students: How about if we play with power? How about if we play with violence? How about if we play with slavery? I talk about BDSM as a political act. [In BDSM], all the issues with gender roles, slavery, violence and power, all of these come to a head...Baham starts by talking about spanking or being spanked as an example of what BDSM can entail. He'll often bring in a guest speaker from the BDSM community. Through these discussions, the students are able to see the potential for BDSM to be, as he puts it, "a redemptive and spiritual act." His students often mention having a slight interest in the topic, but that they don't know what it is and think that it's a "white thing." Despite this, students report that the idea of "doing things that are aggressive or submissive is exciting. There's a tremendous amount of interest, but real lack of information on it," Baham says.

A lot of it reflects white privilege, something most white people don't think about much but something Peggy McIntosh wrote a very famous essay about many years ago in which she listed the various daily effects of white privilege. Now, DarkDaughta has used McIntosh's essay as a template to list the effects of sexual conservatism privilege. As a spanko I found myself nodding frequently as I read through the list. I need to read it a few more times to give a serious review of the post, but I certainly encourage you all to read it as well. Granted, as a spanko I'm often able to blend in with "vanillas" far better than those with more visible sexuality, and I certainly wouldn't consider any oppression I've suffered from because of my sexuality to be near the level that those who are black or gay have suffered (though the "who's suffered more" game is frequently pretty pointless).

And of course, when you mix gender, race and class all up together, it gets really, really interesting.

But at any rate, some stuff I've read recently that pertains to issues surrounding our kink that I thought some of you might find interesting too. If nothing else, it's something to keep you busy until I have the energy to write something of my own.

Friday, March 10, 2006


I think my spanking mojo is coming back. I got that familiar tingle when A. called me a bad girl this afternoon.

Yup. Just maybe it's finally coming back...

P.S. A belated Happy International Women's Day to you all. I should have Blogged Against Sexism here too (I did over at BTS) but as my spanking mojo didn't wake up until this afternoon, I didn't think to do it here. Hope you celebrated the dignity and power of women in many wonderful ways. :)